Saturday, June 21, 2008

A question Murdered

A hesitant answer killed her question
Random murder
Hidden under a dreamy voice
Observed on another land
Words silenced other words
Words calmed words

In her heart
A childish feeling
She fails to explain
For one more time
Did her instinct betray her?
Or was it her pride
Do opposites really attract?
Was she the only one who dared to dream?

She's not grieving the question
We don’t grieve things we never owned
She feels no guilt for the crime
It's all words
Dotted words
That makes crimes
Destroy questions
Kidnap smiles

Confused
Yes lost
On another land
She took her shivering senses to sleep
She preferred to be senseless over sentimental
On this night

On a different ground
Full mooned starry night
Walking barefoot on warm sand
Warm
Yet fails to make her feel home
Facing waves that can change the world
Safe journies don't suit her
Playing games
Trying to put puzzles into place
On a new ground
Where people miss their unlived dreams
Longing
Dreaming
Wondering

How can a question get killed
on such a beautiful night

She will still walk on the edges
She finds no challenge in comfort
She will create more puzzles to solve
More risk to take
More novels to live
More love to give
Even if more questions got killed!
She will find new reasons
To change the world

Monday, June 16, 2008

Salon…. Not just a haircut!!

I wonder how many young ladies would relate to my story…… I wonder if the same happens at men's hairdressers… I highly doubt finding similarity !! I always felt there is very special atmosphere at the hair dresser "salon"!! The kind of stories you may possibly hear are things you only hear there…. And often times ,issues discussed between the hair dresser and customer or the shampoo girl and customer are so personal … extremely personal… .. Really personal…

Women come to the hair dresser with a baggage of frustrations, pain, love stories, secrets and so much gossip…… A visit to the Hairdresser may sometimes be a long one… … hours may pass while women are still at their hairdressers…. Answering personal phone calls… speaking out loud… then sharing their personal stories as a continuation of an over heard one sided conversation on the phone…

So many magazines of Layalena, zahrat alkhalej, Sayedety, Heya…etc are piled silently on the coffee tables, filled with gossip… while on the other hand, these women's hearts and minds write every day at the salon a more realistic perspective of the stories… A true real perspective, a genuine dimension of gossip those magazines failed to represent. .. and yes often times they discuss the stories in these piled magazines… … During Ramadan they would all talk about "bab El7ara" as if they know the characters… and everyone would get so passionate and involved in the discussion, as passionate as they get when talking about their own daughters and family members. And now it's the season of Noor!! The Turkish series that is being dubbed in Syrian accent!! And no one can possibly ignore Noor… who's entering almost every house at 10 PM of every night… In a timing were Euro Cup is taking place and high level of competition between Women's needs and Men's needs of TV!! Which raises more discussions…. And endless stories and frustrations…

I must admit, whenever I have a "salon" appointment, I print out some work or studying documents, and I go with my highlighter, pencil and bunch of papers….. those are my companions for waiting time… yes I'm usually a secretive customer…… I tend to smile to everyone… but share very little.. and would usually chose to agree with older women's opinions to cut conversations short……

Whenever I fail or forget to bring my to do list with me… I enter the "Salon" and start searching between the piles of magazines for "Zahrat Alkhaleej", and pile all the "zahrat alkhaleej" I can possibly find beside me… and start reading 2 articles from each one…. one for "Zahi Wahbeh"… who's usually the last article and one for "Ahlam Mastaganami " who's usually few pages before the last… I read these two articles and go from one issue to another … reading these 2 most poetic articles.. or opinion pieces about something or anything… and often times an interesting fake headline about one of the singers attracts me and I end up reading through…. It's good to TRY to be "In the loop" bemwadee3 eLsa7a elfanieh el3arabieh!! ;)

Well, that's not what I wanted to admit… what I wanted to admit is that… while reading or going through my work… my ear is carefully listening to all the interestingness around me!!! And yes I open my mouth sometimes dazzled at what I hear!! And pretend I just read a very surprising piece of information about "Nancy Ajram"!!! And sometimes I get overwhelmed by a very sad story said…. Said in a very personal way… and it keeps haunting me for a good while…

So what makes these women share very intimate private stories with hairdressers? Is it the amount of time spent with them? Is it complete trust for a person who can easily turn a bad hair day into a sexy hair day?!! What makes the level of trust so high in such cozy yet public place….

In a very small space… politics… love… home décor.. raising kids… education… art.. sports.. .. financial situations… economics…. TV programs… everything is discussed…

In a very small intimate cozy space… I always leave with a new story or rumor… … and it only reminds me I should go there more often… … to get the taste of reality from a different perspective…..

Friday, June 13, 2008

Midnight Wondering!

For Several days
In the middle of each
Night
A
Soul
That lives within me
Has a question

I wonder

How many more midnights
Will I witness

Before I acknowledge the answer
Or
No longer seek it!

Friday, June 6, 2008

Wishes

When I close my eyes
To make a wish
I imagine all the stars I wish I can catch
In the universe of my dreams
My senses merge with my aspirations
My ordinary wishes integrate with my rare wishes
Every time I close my eyes
My wish list starts and ends insisting with the same wish
A wish that shimmers more than its fellow wishes
A wish at that moment
Synchronizes in harmony with my heartbeat

I make wishes
That may come true in halves
In quarters
Wishes that makes me so light
I can fly
Wishes wrapped in hope
Delivered in insistence
Wishes wrapped in questions
Announced with hesitation
Wishes of my crazy mind
And passionate heart
wishes that makes me walk on the edges
Wishes that challenge me
keeps me Alive
Wishes that brings light

Wishes
like us
have characters
Humble wishes
Wished in a crazy way
Common wishes
Wished in a customized way
Sane wishes
Funny wishes
Childish wishes
Luxurious wishes
Wishes we know
Wishes hidden between life angles
Exist
But we haven't met yet

Wishes like humans…
Have a birth date
Grow old….
Survive...
Leave scars…

Wishes are like mothers
When they come true
They Give birth to another wish

Sometimes I close my eyes
To make a precious wish
Nothing but a grieving tear falls
Slips between my joyless eyelashes in pain
Only then I know
In the gloomy corners of my eyes
In the absence of real Light
That my favorite wish has died
That one of my special stars
no longer shines!
Wishes like humans
Die!

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Friday, May 23, 2008

The art of life- Where Knowledge fails- by Earl Barnes I


It does feel good when words written in 1907, read in 2008... still make so much sense... and you can relate to every line..