Thursday, January 31, 2008

Would you rather be normal or an extremist?

Dear reader, if at any part of the post you didn’t get it, you're not slow or stupid. I'm just insane. So pick a normal post .
I just hanged up the phone with Rula. Long conversation, since she's still not blogging whenever I quote from her I will put ® :) so we had this long heated argument, which I would like to put into writing. Would you rather be neutral (normal, common, go with the flow, ordinary) and happy OR be you, different (unique character, extremist, opinionated on certain issues…etc) and not enjoy this "normal" life and not be happy always. Coz apparently you might not belong. If on a Monday evening I went out to have a cozy dinner with one or two of my close friends with my curls, and tennis shoes and jeans( which I usually do) instead of on Thursday night taking an appointment at the hairdresser STRAGHTEN my hair, put on the high heels and scratch some make up on my face(until this part sometimes I do !!) then fake a smile and go meet a group, half of I don’t really get along with well, or relate to, the other half are nice to me so I'm here as compliment to them though they might not be happy with my presence. Choosing the first , I will be out of this world- an extremist!
Rula says you can't be a real unique producer , unless you are an extremist® , but would you really rather be a producer, change the world, do something unique? Or would you rather get the majorities acceptance? I believe there's no shift back, there's no such thing as being normal and happy after you being an extremist. Coz I don’t believe you would enjoy going with the flow and imitating others after you have felt how it feels to be yourself. A whole unique identity, which rather have tea on the couch with Rula than go clubbing on a Thursday even if that's the trend!!
I am always changeable ® I literally brought my new note book which Rula doesn’t believe is artistic (though I thought it is) and quoted her while she was talking on the phone!! Can you imagine, architects can be that inspiring :)
She is not only accepting others diversity which is relatively normal, she is accepting her own transformations and changes. She is adaptive ® but could she adapt to normality? For how long?
If tastes are changeable, probably values are as well, but it takes much longer to change those.
Can someone be an extremist when it comes to work, or talent, and in social life be a normal person. What's normal? What's sane?
aren't the Neutral category keen to find their real core and become the extremists too, aren't they normal coz they probably can't be different?!
Why is it more normal for me to go out with fake straightened hair, than to go out with my wild natural curls? This question can be reformed on all the questions that relates to life, my hair is just the closest example. The same statement is true for everything, natural instincts are considered wild and insane while faked coldness is actually what's accepted!!!
Please note: I'm not judging anyone here, I'm just thinking out loud!

Wednesday, January 30, 2008


She enters a tree room, where the energy is so full of questions, concerns and rich content. Lost between big words and high values, she questions her knowledge, beliefs and ideas. And here she goes, a great inspiration by Munir Fasheh, he suggests the value of stories in creating, inheriting, learning and remembering knowledge. A concept that totally attracts her. In a room lit by the view of the old city and the enlightenment of the audience. She decides to start posting her stories. And here she is While searching for the missing content found what could be missing from her journey's documentation, Hakaya as Munir says. While thinking of the idea, endless flashbacks started bombing in her little head, stories that probably formed her as a person, some added to her characteristics and others which could have helped in not emerging certain traits ; childhood stories, inspirational occasions, and love stories. She suddenly finds out she has endless stories to talk about. Being a person who is always in love, with someone, some place or idea. She has endless love stories to speak of….....

Monday, January 21, 2008

Mornings....... Days...

While waking up in the morning is the toughest part for me. I'm finally awake with enough coffee in my system. I do mornings only when they are customized for me. The first 2 hours of waking up I prefer complete silence, and I don’t usually speak any word except good morning. The only sound I can bare in the morning is the sound of the coffee machine, coz I need it. but at the end of the day, I live with early risers, my parents wake up around 5 or 6, so by the time its 9 (my wake up time) they had all the silence they needed and are ready to discuss politics!! Some of my work colleagues are early risers too, and they can easily start a hot work conversation call as early as 8:30 or 9!! Which I usually miss and call back when I'm capable of talking, unless it’s a sensitive phase of work with urgent news. Actually sometimes I feel they do this intentionally since I'm so peaceful in the morning and things can go as they wish when I'm that sleepy and barely saying anything other than yes, ok, we'll see, I'll call you later. And whenever I'm asked if I'm sleeping, I always deny it!! No I'm not go ahead!!
It's been such a long week already, though the week hasn't started yet! Often times you feel ready to end your week on a Monday. Today is one of those days. I don’t mind getting a weekend tomorrow. My last Friday and Saturday together weren't a package I could name weekend! But at the end of the day, who cares what I count them, as far as those of authority already counted them as weekends! Every day of the week has special rituals. Friday is the lazy day, I hardly move my body, I spend it sleeping, barely reading, barely watching TV. And Saturday is the day of service and overbooking myself. Whoever wants to see me or needs my help in anything, I say Saturday I'm free. Off course, from over booking Saturday I end up with 4 or 5 promises. one of which the person forgets to start with, 2 contradicts each other in timing so I end up doing 2 things or 3 and spend the day in the roads driving from place to place. The day ends while I'm literally exhausted, and 2 people are mad for not seeing me or me not being able to do what they wished like going shopping with them or spending time with them ( this usually includes my mother as one of them). So end of Saturday while I'm on bed, ready to sleep and end a LOOONNGG day, I go over my day in my mind, and I feel that at the end of the day I haven't' pleased anyone as much as they wanted, and yet I have not done anything special for my own self through the day! So I promise Mais to do something special next Saturday for myself. Like Go for a walk with one of my friends in a neighborhood I like, since for me there exists something very special about sharing a walk with someone! It’s incredible how countless are the things you can know about one person from just a walk! What they notice, what they don’t! Does the environment around them and elements they see triggers them to criticize or laugh! Are they hard or easy to please! Or I promise myself to go to the spa or something. Being someone who can hardly break a promise to people but can easily do it to myself. My Saturday s are still the same, though special things can happen by an emotional explosion accident through the week!! J

Thursday, January 17, 2008


There was something attractive about this effortless man. A man with humble plain clothes, button less , colorless linen shirt, and an artistic looking hair. The way he walks is so free of complications and sophistication. He carries no image but the image of himself, a HUMAN. He was standing near the table, grabbed a cookie, so I thought of handing him a plate, so I did. And he refused saying " Thanks I'm not that civilized!" and I never knew, such a statement about a man would turn my alarm bills on, by just calling himself UNCIVILIZED! Having witnessed 22 summers of my life , I do find it such an interesting part of my journey , attraction to the uncivilized. I always thought that my perfect image of a man is a handsome guy, dressed in a suit, walking in straight lines, shaved, with short fixed hair. And the guy in the suit comes and leaves and I don’t even turn my face. Or to be accurate when I did turn it, I regretted it! This uncivilized man, comes from nowhere, heading to nowhere, as if he owns all the freedom in the world by being un-civilized. He passes and totally grabs my attention to a human characteristic I'm totally drawn to. By knowing who he is, he made me realize allot about my own self. I was always attracted to two main divine worlds and wished I can try to breathe there for few summers. Those two worlds were Wadi Rum, and off course Menia in Egypt ( Elsa3eed)! I always knew I'm attracted to this untouched nature, this truthfulness in earth. But knowing that un-civilization is what draws me magnetized in humans as well is something interesting! Recalling that incident makes me really embarrassed, I wish there was a camera that took a shot of me when this man said that he's not that civilized. I remember I stared!! But I wonder how I stared!! Lol!!

Monday, January 14, 2008


It never stopped astonishing me this facebook phenomena. As much as I'm excited to start blogging, I'm surprising my own self in having my first post entitled facebook. Regardless of all the publicity of the private information on this website and how quickly and easily the most secretive and private information are circulated and spread . What amazes me truly, is how much you miss by not checking your facebook!! Not being a big fan of technology myself, and ending a working day not wanting to check any site or read any screen printed note. Days pass by and I don’t really check my facebook. On public holidays, I can live without turning the power of my laptop or TV on! (I can be that uncivilized! J)I tend to forget that facebook is the most used social tool, for invitations, socializing, getting important messages, and knowing about important events taking place in this country. I remember on the last school graduates reunion, I met one of my old school friends, who I'm not really in touch with. And she's a very sweet excited type of girl, she was like " Mais , god where have you been? Where are you? It's been so long, don't you have a facebook?!!!" off course, I was so shocked of the sweet gesture of missing me ( on facebook!). certainly , what makes me question this phenomena more, is getting these messages saying let's go for lunch this Thursday or being blamed for not saying good bye to someone who left the country, though he or she posted his travel time on facebook!! Interesting isn't it?! All human civilization, created transportation, mail, phones, mobiles, sms, emails, iphones (I have to include that:)) to make people closer to each other, and yet we are moving apart comparatively with how close and sincere relations were when the only communication tool was an honest soul communicating face to face or body to body.